More often than not the birth partner is overlooked at birth, but they have an important role. They need to support their birthing partner, be their advocate, help them get into that calm birthing zone, help them get back into the calm zone if they come out of it and relay any communications to the medical team, if required.  During my course we talk at length about the birth partners role and what they can do to help them and their partner have a positive birth experience.

Recently I have had a couple of birth partners talk to me about how grateful they were for attending my course, and after they had finished relaying why they were thanking me I said "please can you write that down for me?" 

So here is what they wrote - thank you Ben and Lloyd! 

  "Firstly, I will hold my hands up and say I was a little skeptical at first, I mean women have been giving birth for thousands and thousands of years and therefore considered that whilst it’s definitely “hard work” for mums it’s one of the most natural things to go through.

Well I am really happy to say that my skepticism was put to bed very quickly.

This is my third child and my partner, Lucy’s first so I felt that I had been there, seen it, done it etc. However it’s amazing what you forget in a decade!

Debbie was fantastic, she took each of our respective concerns and bearing in mind this was a pandemic pregnancy with the real worry that I wouldn’t be able to attend the birth, there were a few, and broke them down and helped to massively alleviate them.

She provided really effective techniques to make the birth more manageable mentally and helped to provide a calm that perhaps had been lacking previously. She also provided me with several different tools, to help Lucy get through the labour even though for the majority of it, as suspected, we were kept apart.

We did the course over video call, as again the pandemic thwarted our plans of face to face sessions and after each of them we felt better equipped to deal with whatever was thrown at us.

I think the biggest gain from the sessions, was the confidence it provided Lucy to deliver our daughter Mia under any set of circumstances, but also for me as a partner who couldn’t be there for arguably the most important landmark of our relationship.

Lucy was amazing and adopted many of the techniques she had learned and practiced from our hypnotherapy sessions for the several hours until I was called in to the hospital and 1 hour and 45mins after I arrived she delivered our perfect little bundle of joy Mia.

I would highly recommend Debbie’s hypnobirthing course for both parents...we found it invaluable especially in these testing times."  
 - Ben, January 2021


“As a first time father-to-be, I came into this experience about as ill prepared as I’m sure many first time fathers are. Combined with a global pandemic which has stopped many pregnancy and NCT type classes, I was not confident in my knowledge or my ability to help my partner. 

Debbie was fantastic at communicating with us throughout the pregnancy, she established exactly what our concerns and issues were, structured her course to our wants, needs and fears, and really helped both of us believe in ourselves and our ability to have this baby, and find a sense of confidence neither of us had before.

Working with Debbie over Zoom during the pandemic has been smooth and easy, and whilst face to face contact is always nice, I don’t think either myself or my partner felt anything was missing from the experience. 

Debbie is clearly incredibly knowledgeable about all aspects of childbirth. She was the most comprehensive and best source of information I found during the whole pregnancy. She had the time and patience to talk us through things even our midwife didn’t have time for.

I would unequivocally endorse and recommend Debbie to anyone I knew who might be expecting a baby, I really cannot emphasize enough what a help she’s been!”

- Lloyd, February 2021

Women have given birth for thousands of years, since our time on earth began. Birth was viewed as an empowering, enlightening, powerful and natural event… so how have we got to this place where THE most normal and natural event in the world has become one of the things that many women fear the most?

It is not because your body was designed badly, or that your baby is not perfect for your body. It has more to do with how the events over the last few hundred years have shaped our beliefs and experiences of birth.

This timeline overview helps to put that in context of how this fear has built up over the years:

1. Natural world.  Before Christianity (and still in non-Christian parts of the world), birth was a wonderful celebration, a connection with mother earth, a pagan ritual, birthing women were adored, revered, birth was magical, wonderful.

2. Christianity.  With the development of Christianity in the middle-ages, giving birth became connected with sex and as sex was considered carnal sin, the position of women began to be demeaned.

3. Witches.  Between the 14th and 17th century, early midwives, or women who were the helpers of women during birth were considered witches, heretics and helpers of evil – millions of these women were executed. As a result, the inherent knowledge of supporting birth women began to disappear and so complications began to arise, sometimes leading to death, therefore women became more fearful of birth. Women were often left alone to birth or had a religious man to attend them.

4. Male Doctors.  The rise of medicine, lack of knowledgeable women and the dominant male role put an end to a great deal of women centered birthing. So much of the medical model, terminology and procedures were created by men who were coming at birth from a medical perspective.  The invention of forceps and then other medical interventions led to women birthing on their backs which in itself caused many problems so making birthing more painful and dangerous.

5. Hospitals.  The creation of hospitals in the 17th century represented a huge shift in the location of where women gave birth. These early hospitals were rife with disease and poor hygiene. More women died from child-bed fever due to poor hygiene conditions than any other cause… fueling the fear of birth even more.

6. Urbanisation.  During the industrial revolution, as urbanisation and cramped living conditions increased, women’s health deteriorated rapidly, they were no longer as fit, healthy and well-nourished and so their failing health led to complications during pregnancy and birth.

7. Use of Drugs.  By the 18th century many women had become so fearful and traumatised that the introduction of chloroform and other drugs seemed a welcome move, however it made women even more immobile and disempowered. Queen Victoria had chloroform administered when she delivered her eighth and ninth children. The queen’s experiences helped popularize the use of anesthesia among London’s upper classes.

8. Litigation.  More recently in history there has been a growing fear of the medical profession getting things wrong and the suing culture has grown so that fear has crossed the barriers to the medical team who are now often more fearful of litigation than they are of feeling confident in the woman’s ability to birth her baby.
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9. Antenatal care.  In our society today, from the moment a woman becomes pregnant, she is treated as high risk - constantly focusing on what ‘could’ go wrong. She needs scans, blood tests, urine tests, blood pressure monitored etc.   So from the very first appointment, there is an element of fear. What if the tests come back negative, what if my blood pressure is too high? She is bombarded with all the things that could damage the foetus, all the things she MUST not do, what to eat, what not to eat, how to sleep, how to exercise and so on.

During the 1940s through to the 1960s Grantly Dick-Read drew attention to culturally induced, or a ‘learned’ fear of childbirth in our society, in which stories relating to pain and endurance are handed down from mother to daughter and from older women to young girls, stories which find a place in our literature, films, TV and more recently, social media.

Fear of childbirth and fear of the pain in childbirth in particular, is a collective belief in society, built up over time, rather than an absolute or given truth. Although the women’s body has not changed since prehistoric times, the fears surrounding birth have.

Generations of women have gone into labour feeling and being frightened and scared. Even though there are no wild animals in their birthing space and, according to the powers that be, hospital is considered the ‘safest’ place to have a baby, women’s bodies have still responded physically to their fears.
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In essence, women are now faced with mental and emotional fears of what might happen, rather than real physical threats or danger (from wild animals).   Remember that your nervous system does not know the difference between real or imagined danger and fear and so your body will respond in the same way to both – your body will experience real physical responses to a fear created in your mind.

By learning and practising hypnobirthing techniques you can release this fear, let go of those negative beliefs and build up the trust in your body to grow and birth a healthy child.

I have been busy in January writing my new FREE guide to help you to understand WHY WE FEEL PAIN in labour and some simple ways YOU can help reduce it. 💜

Pain is not something you want to talk about when you are pregnant, and yet everyone you meet can’t wait to tell you all about how very excruciatingly painful birth is, right?!

Well, I too want to talk about it (sorry!) BUT I want to share some of my knowledge of why we experience pain during birth and offer you some simple ideas that you can do to help reduce it.

My free guide is 4 pages long with lots of really important information about why you may feel pain and TEN bits of useful and practical advice on what could help you fell less pain during your labour and birth.

Click on the link below and it will guide you through how to download it for FREE. 👇

It's January 2021 and the nation is back into lockdown.

But I am still here for you, on zoom or teams or whatever works the best way for you! 

Women are still pregnant, babies are still being born and mamas are still anxious, even more than ever. 

I would like to share a bit of a conversation that I had this morning with a pregnant mum that is booking onto a 1-to-1 hypnobirthing course with me.. we were discussing whether it should be in-person or live online...

These were my thoughts...

"I think the responsible thing to do is teach the course online via zoom or similar rather than in-person... because first of all, we can, it's as simple as that, and secondly, it is safer for all of us.  In response to your question of 'will we still get the same out of it?' ...well, what I have found so far from teaching live on zoom for the last 10 months of 2020 is that yes you most definitely do get the same out of it.. I even have evidence of this because I have had the most wonderful reviews and recommendations through over this time (have a look at my FB reviews and birth stories I've been sharing) and it has actually surprised me how much of a rapport you can get and how much you can actually teach and demonstrate effectively over something like zoom!

I would really love to meet you in person because I just love being with people, like we all do I suppose, but at the end of the day, and from what I have found, the birth outcomes from my course appear to be the same whether we are in-person or on zoom together "

Just look at some of the beautiful babies of the couples I have supported in 2020.  You will find all of their birth stories on my Facebook Page @Betterbirthandbaby and some of the parents reviews and recommendations too. It was such a pleasure to still be able to support couples to have a positive birth experience in 2020 - Happy New Year folks, and thank you so much for letting me be a part of your baby's birth.

​NEW FOR 2020!!

Are you feeling exhausted and anxious about your birth?
Do you feel like you just need a few days for you and your birth partner, to get away from it all?

Or maybe you are finding it difficult to just sit and relax and connect with your growing baby, without feeling the constant pressures of deadlines and work stress?

If you answered YES to any of the above, then my Hypnobirthing Countryside Retreat is the perfect answer….

At this 3 day retreat you will have a wonderfully relaxing and pampered stay in a romantic and peaceful converted barn on the edge of the beautiful Suffolk countryside, and you and your birth partner will learn hypnobirthing techniques to help you to have a positive birth experience.
Your retreat package includes all of the following:
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• 3 night stay at the beautiful and peaceful The Stable at Mullion Barn (see mullionbarn.com), a private one-bedroom self catering holiday let on the edge of the Suffolk countryside, just south of Bury St Edmund's.
• A full private Hypnobirthing course with Debbie from Better Birth & Baby for more details on the course), tailored to your needs and taught in the comfort of your spacious retreat accommodation. The course will be split into 2 or 3 sessions (around 8 hours of teaching).​
• A 60 minute antenatal massage for mum-to-be and a 60 minute stress relieving or aromatherapy massage for birth partner too.
• Pregnancy Relaxation Gift Box, including Neal's Yard Remedies 'Mother Organic Collection', aromatherapy gifts, pregnancy treats and much more, all together worth in excess of £60!​
• Ability to pre-order any breakfast items to be there for you when you arrive. We can even take delivery of your supermarket groceries and unpack them ready for your arrival if you need us to!​
• Option to stay for more than 3 nights at reduced nightly rates, to extend your relaxation time for even longer.

AND if you book your retreat before the end of 2020, you will receive a massive £100 introductory discount taking the price of this exclusive experience down to only £695.

Your Hypnobirthing Countryside Retreat is ready and waiting for you! Get in touch now to check availability and book your perfect getaway. 

What's the Plan?
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Like most antenatal educators and hypnobirthing practitioners I closed my doors to in-person courses and workshops in March following Government and Professional bodies advice. I moved all of my clients online and have had many a happy hour on zoom calls demonstrating hypnobirthing techniques and chatting about how to reduce the anxieties around pregnancy and birth, especially those around birthing during a global pandemic! I am so grateful to have been able to move my business online and still help support so many couples during this time.. but I am happy to say that I will be starting to run in-person workshops once again from July onwards. It will be wonderful to be able to offer both live online courses via zoom/skype but also in-person courses once again, to those who want that option.

I will be teaching my popular Group Hypnobirthing Workshops solely online via zoom or skype for the time being. This is something I will reassess going forward and as guidance changes over the coming months.

I am writing this blog to outline the changes that I will be implementing for my in-person Private 1-to-1 hypnobirthing workshops to prevent the spread of infection. I will also communicate updates on here as any government guidance or industry guidelines change.

Risk Assessment & 'Let's Stay Safe' Guide:

During July 2020 I have completed and written up a risk assessment following government guidance and will be following all risk mitigation measures that this process has identified - some of which I have outlined below. I have also written a detailed 'Lets Stay Safe' Guide that all Clients will be required to read and understand prior to attending any in-person sessions. Both can be made available on request.

Self-Isolating:

Firstly, let me reassure you that if myself or any family member experience any symptoms I will self isolate.  In this circumstance couples will be offered to reschedules their workshop and/or move one or more of their workshop sessions to live online sessions.  I will follow the Government and NHS guidelines and advice, and where possible will get tested as well.

Similarly, if you or any member of your household experience any symptoms of cold, flu or Covid-19 please let me know as soon as possible and we will reschedule or move your sessions online. Please also let me know if you experience any symptoms following any of our sessions together (as I will), I will then assess whether I need to cancel other courses and self isolate.

During our Workshop sessions together:

I will be teaching Private 1-to-1 sessions at my home. I live in a large barn on the edge of the Suffolk countryside a couple of miles south of the centre of Bury St Edmunds, just a mile south of the A14.  Whether the guidance for social distancing is 1 metre or 2 metres there is enough room at the Barn to be able to distance from each other, whether that is whilst we are learning about hypnobirthing and enjoying relaxation sessions or whether we are having a break, or using the facilities! The living room where the sessions will take place is approximately 7 metres long by 6 metres wide and the breakout area is adjacent to the lounge in the centre of the barn which is around 13 metres long by 10 metres wide, the bathroom is just off this area. I will be posting a mini video and images of the barn on my Facebook Page too so you can see the set up for yourself.

We have enough bathrooms to ensure that couples can have sole use of our downstairs bathroom during the workshop sessions. This bathroom will undergo a deep clean prior to your arrival, have clean hand towels and cleaning products available for your use.  During this time I will be recommending couples to bring their own drinks and snacks. I will of course reassess my provision of drinks and snacks as time goes on and as guidance changes. Please note that it is possible to refill your drinks containers with water using our (hands-free) cool filtered water dispenser.

We will be sitting on sofa/couches in the living room so if you wish to, you can bring your own furniture coverings. For relaxation sessions please bring whatever will make you feel comfortable, i.e. pillows, cushions, yoga mat, blankets. Wherever possible and keeping in mind your comfort during the sessions, windows will be open and the venue ventilated as much as possible.

1. Deep Relaxation. Think about ways you like to relax and practice taking yourself into a deeply relaxed state. A pretty simple way is to just breathe really deeply and slowly counting to 4 or 6 on your breath in and then 6 to 8 on your breath out. Focusing on slowing down your out breath first will then slow down your in-breath too.

2. Your Safe Place.  Create a relaxing, private safe place to go to in your minds-eye, practice going there in your mind. Feel, see, and hear things as if you are actually there. You can go there when you are in labour too as it will help you to focus your mind, relax your body and cope with contractions.

3. Imagine your Birth. Indulge yourself by fantasizing about your perfect birth in great detail from beginning to end. Do this as much as you can in the last few weeks of birth, daily if possible.

4. Be Positive. Focus on what you do want rather than what you do not want, in terms of planning for your birth and in conversations (with others and yourself!). It has been proven that positive self-talk really works. If you say that you can’t then you won’t but if you say that you can and will then you will!

5. Birth Stories. Protect yourself from negative images about birth - when someone jumps in to tell you about their horror story - stop them and ask them to talk about the good bits, or ask them to tell you about it after the birth! Instead, read and listen to as many positive birth stories as possible. You can find some at www.positivebirthmovement.org and www.tellmeagoodbirthstory.com for example, and link up with your local Positive Birth Movement Group.

6. Exercise Practice physical exercise which is beneficial for birth such as squatting, pelvic floor exercises. Get some fresh air, because let’s face it, it is always good to do exercise of any shape or form in nature, even if it’s just a walk! Great for your mind and your body.

7. Yoga. Take up antenatal Yoga, it can be really beneficial to help you prepare for birth, relaxing you mentally and keeping your muscles active. There are some wonderful antenatal yoga classes in Bury St Edmunds so go and check them all out and find the one that works for you.

8. Rest. It’s simple, find a comfy chair, the floor, your bed, close your eye and take some time out. You may want to listen to some relaxing music, do some meditation, mindfulness or listen to hypnobirthing tracks (you can find some here www.betterbirthandbaby.com/downloads). Whatever works for you, just take a rest. Is there a room at work you can use if you aren’t on maternity leave yet? The benefits for you and baby will be immense.

9. Educate Yourself. Knowing about what happens during birth can really help you to feel calmer and more in control about the birth. Book yourself and your birth partner onto an antenatal class. Hypnobirthing will teach you about how to reduce the pain you may feel when having contractions and will teach you and your birth partner skills to keep you calm and relaxed for a positive birth experience. Read more about what hypnobirthing entails here.
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10. Fuel up. Eat lots of healthy food and drink loads of water. Both you and your baby will benefit hugely.